Based on the Song of Solomon…. Chp 1 vs 5 & 6…

“I am Dark but Lovely
O Daughters of Jerusalem,
Like the tents of Kedar,
Like the curtains of Solomon.
Do not look upon me, because I am dark,
Because the sun has tanned me.
My mother’s sons were angry with me;
They made me keeper of the Vineyards,
But my own Vineyards I have not kept.
For this is man’s all.” Songs. 1:5&6

I’ve always wondered about this verss in particular. I remember thinkin… “mother’s sons??” what is that all about. But I see now that it’s an allegory of mother nature.. and the sons of this earth… the crowd, the people oof this world.

Here’s an insert from the book I’m reading: Song of the Bride by Jeanne Guyon

“People urge you to resume your active life. They direct your attention to the outward rather than toward the destruction of your inwardly wayward passions. The “mother’s children” strive against you for awhile, and you are not able to resist them. You begin to attend to outward and external things. You do not “keep your own vineyard,” which is your inward spirit where God lives. This, however, is the only thing that you should keep, and the only vineyard you should tend. Slowly you become  inattentinve to the voive of God. You are even less faithful in guarding the inward lives of others. Like the experience of this maiden, you may find that others will be angry with you for turning to find your Lord. Others may see your inner life causing you to neglect outer things. Do not forget to seek your Lord within. You need not be concerned with correcting your external faults. The Bridegroom is well aware of your flaws and will heal them in His own wise way.” -The Song of the Bride by Jeanne Guyon pg 9

WOW! Can I saw WOW again!?? Seriously… I’ve been so caught up in the “mother’s sons” that I’ve forgotten to tend to my own vineyard… the “garden enclosed” as Misty Edwards would say. This verse is beginning to make sense to me in this allegorical way. I understand that when God shines His light on me… that all of my flaws come out! I’m dark!! yet He calls me Lovely. I get so caught up in my flaws and hoping that everyone won’t see that I’m this or that… and so I go my way, in the crowd to make sure people can see that I’m really cool. Then, as it so happens, after not tending my garden (vineyard) I become an angry, evil montser! I do! And it’s so bad. It really is. But you know what? That’s exactly how the enemy want us to be… Evil! He wants us to forget about God, go in every way possible to push God out of our life, just so that he can rule us and reign over us.

Lately, I’ve been making a habit to just read and love the Lord, and I’m finding I’m much more happier. I’m not as lonely and depressed as I thought I was. Even if I don’t have as many friends as I would like to, God is there showing me the way to go! I’ve learned a lot of things the hard way over the past 6 years, and I’m hoping that I’m finally passing the test. I want to choose God even if everything in this world comes against me, because in the end: ONLY GOD MATTERS! I turn and ask myself nowadays: “Is this an eternal issue?” and if it is… it matters, if it isn’t then shoot… I ain’t worrying about it. And if I worry about it… God makes sure He takes care of it!

God can only work in your life if you let Him into it. As in Psalm 42:4

“As I remember these things, I pour out my soul within me. For I used to go with the multitude: I went with them to the house of God, With the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept a pilgrim feast.”

I remember the days of being the leader of it all… goin in with the crowd. I was in a church that was amazing. They kept it all alive. But in the end, they didn’t tend the “Vineyard” the way they needed to. I guess that when it all comes down to it, it was Love that got me out of that mess so that He could get me where I am today. So that I can tend my “vineyard” in my own way. I can go to Him by myself and not in the crowd. God has seriously delievered me from the sorrow of thinking about it all. As Jeanne Guyon said in the paragraph up top: “The Bridegroom is well aware of your flaws and will heal them in His own Wise way.”

So it’s time- yes time: To pursue God as violently as I can. No matter what the “mother’s sons” think. I’m going to tend my vineyard the way it needs tending. It’s not a game, not a competition, not something to take light heartily, it’s real!