JCox Creations

Christmas for C-HOP

Tonight I’m finally gonna get to decorating a little bit for the House of Prayer. I love the wreaths I made.. and the little tree I came up with!! Hope that everyone likes it all! I have some garland that I’m going to also use there… just gonna go with the flow on that… so no pictures of that. Just these:

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JCox Creations

Memory Lane #5- LOVE

This drawing is my passion. LOVE, makes every wall in this heart of mine to break, every hindrance, every burden- take i down.

This is one of my most daily prayers. Even though sometimes my flesh likes to take over- my goal is to ‘love and be loved in return’! It’s hard in this life to understand everythng around us, and so we build walls and fake our way through things- but my prayer is that I will let Love in- no matter what. If I do that, then I know that I will be truly happy.

Voice...

LOVE

Lord give me grace to love so that my heart can be free again!! I want to be free! Free from bitterness and hatred! Free from tyranny. -Amen

Matthew 5:44 

“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.”

Being a Christian is hard in many aspects- but the main hardship is loving people who are your enemies. I have been in such a place of turmoil lately of learning to Love. I am not that great at it. I can testify to only some instances to where I was truly Christian in loving people. But God is gripping my heart. He is letting me know of the forgiveness He has for me in letting the enemy lead me in hatred and loneliness. I can’t say that I’m perfect at Love or even close- but I can say that I’m learning. I can say that I will try my very best to let God lead me. B/c if he leads me- everything that I need and desire will be added to me.

Lately I’ve had to remove myself from many situations to see how my heart responds, and I’ve learned my problems. I’ve learned of my bitterness and my actions; and in this I’m making ammends with God, with people and learning the process of becoming more like Jesus. “Love is the liberty of our own soul.” -Mike Bickle.  If we can choose to love instead of be passive and forget, our lives will change tremendously… and so I want that. I want to learn to love and have my life changed. I want to be at a deep spiritual level with God. For in love- you go higher. In love… you begin to trust again. You begin to lean on God and let Him lead. And when God leads… everything is so much better, happier and amazing!

Falling in love is the most wonderful, existing power. It gives you a sense of living again. It makes you want to be better. Love keeps you passionate, keeps you nurtured. Love is what makes life better. Even though it suffers long and is steadfast… slow… the process is always refining and turns to Gold!

So with all that said… God make me one who is perfected in Love. -in Jesus name.

“B/c to love you is to know you and to know you is to walk with you- all the days of my life. I want to live in the sight of your love, your great love!” -Brandon J. Hampton

Voice...

understanding

I’ve been so blessed by the Lord lately. He has been giving me revelation after revelation through many things of how He is working in my life. I have began to realize it more and more b/c I’ve been able to be FREE from a lot of the mindsets that this world has put on me. I’ve decided not to worry. I found a song by Misty Edwards called Unattached Vagabond… and in the song… she says: “Nothing matters, nothing really matter but getting to my Jesus. Nothing matters, nothing really matters- outside of the Lord.”

It’s funny b/c my husband tells me this all the time. He says that it if doesn’t have any eternal value, then don’t worry about it. So I’m guessing God has gotten me to this place of not worrying about everything, more like thinking about everything, and just letting Him take control of the situations at hand.

I’ve been reading my Jeanne Guyon book. I’m beginning to really admire this woman for her faith and her boldness. I’m asking the Lord to make me that way. 🙂  Hopefully one day I will be as bold, but for now- I’m just understanding where the Lord is taking me.

In the book called Song of Songs, there’s an insert from a book called Justifications that she has written. (I’ve got to get me that book too!!)

And it says: “With those who devote themselves to the interior life; not only do they suffer persecution at the hands of a godless world and from people of regular lives, but far more severely from such pious (devoutly religious- making a hypocritical display of virtue) and spiritual minded persons as are not interior. These latter do it as a matter of duty, not being able to recognize any other way as right but that in which they themselves are walking. But their most violent assaults come from pretended saints and false devotees, whose foul characters, wickedness and hypocrisies they detect as the are enlightened by the truth of God. This gives rise to an opposition b/w such persons and those who are truly spiritual, like that between the angels and demons.”

This paragraph led me to a lot of understanding to a lot of the things going on in my life. It’s hard for me to understand “religious.” I guess b/c I’ve been an interior person (seeking the Lord with their whole heart) all of my life. I guess I was protected from it for so long that I thought that everyone was interior who were Christians… but as I can see… they arent- and some are just as godless as the ones who are out in the world of non-believers. I just really hope and pray that this godless nation will somehow become and Godly nation. I want people to understand the way I understand Christianity to be- a true, devout, relationship with the Lord. B/c that’s all that matters… not religion, denomination… It’s just about getting to Jesus and being unattached to this world… As my dad says: “If you’re a friend of this world- you’re an enemy of God.”

Now that I’m understanding… it’s just getting better and easier to let things go. And to see that people are going to be people. We aren’t all perfect and we aren’t all the same in beliefs- but we can be Christian-like; more like Jesus-like. And LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!

As it says in Eph 6:12  For we do not “wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalites, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

Just remember to keep running the race no matter who comes against you- God will get you to where you need to be. “B/c nothing matters, nothing really matters outside of the Lord!” -Misty

Voice...

Comparedtohorsemen

It seems that I’ve been in a war lately with so many people. It’s either that they don’t know me or how to take me or they have their own insecurities that they need to work out. It could possibly be both! I sometimes don’t understand why people think that I’m so difficult to understand or what? And all I can do is sit there and try to understand where they are coming from… I guess I just know myself.

But anyways… on that course… I was reading my book called the Song of Songs by Jeanne Guyon. It’s amazing. It’s like every chapter or little insert about every part of the Song of Songs just grasps me and pulls me in! It’s like it’s describing my life! Really it is! I can’t imagine a better book for me right now!

And so it says: From Song of Solomon Chp 1 vs. 8

“I have compared you, my love,to my company of horsemen in Pharoah’s chariots.”

How romantic…  not!! I can not see how this sentence could be more lame! Really… the love of my life is comparing me to a company of horsemen? What? It needs to be something like the most beautiful ocean or something… really! this? why?

And so Jeanne Guyon gives her interpretation: her allegory… and it goes like this:

The Bridegroom knows perfectly well that all the compliments He lavishes upon you, far from making you vain, only deepen your death to self. He praises you so that your Love may grow.

I read that… and was like- deep! that’s so deep! Really it is. But what does it have to do with a company of horsemen?

Then she says:

He desires a course so swift and sure for you that only you can be compared to a whole company of riders running toward Him at full speed. Yet while you are here on earth He has hidden you by causing you to look like the chariots of Pharoah. You who run so swiftly after Him often appear to be on an erratic course.  *erratic: not even or regular in pattern or movement; unpredictable or  deviating from the normal or conventional in behavior or opinions

Man, this woman’s revelation just astounds me! It’s exactly as it should be- to me of course. I was like.. If I look at it this way… I can see that the Lord notices my race. He notices my behavior and he understands my desire to run after Him and only Him. Who cares if someone thinks differently of me… or thinks that I’m not on the course that I should be. God says I am. He says that I’m in a race and he compares me to all those who are running hard after Him.

Jeanne goes on to say: “The truth is that you are running toward God, and your race shall end in God alone. Nothing shall stand in the way of your safe arrival. God will supply you with His strength and faithfulness.”

And that’s the truth! It’s the truth about my life… whether I’m a wife, a mom, I go to IHOP… The truth about my life… I’m running after God. With all that I am… I’m running towards Him and only Him. And if people can’t see that- I pray that they do. I pray that their eyes are opened to the call on my life. God knows my heart. He has been living in my heart all my life. Esp when I was 5 yrs old and I asked him to come live inside me and take away my sins… all through a construction paper heart and my sunday school teacher. I’ve been in this race for over 20 years. And I’m not gonna stop. B/c in the end… it’s gonna be worth it all! It’s gonna be worth all the condemnation… B/c I choose Jesus! I choose God. And He will supply me with strength and faithfulness. Everyday… He supplies me with what I need.

I’m tired of trying to prove myself, of trying to be friends with people who don’t care. I’m tired of thinking things would be better if it were different. I’m tired of all the lies and gossip. I’m tired of it all… I’m running the race of God. Not of this world. Even in my erratic behavior… It’s God who made me the way I am. He made me to be a leader, a forerunner. And I’m ready.

Voice...

Songofmyheart

I’ve been listening to this song ever since I’ve gotten it! It’s amazing! It’s the story of our lives here on Earth and that cost that our lives had for Jesus to take away the sins of the world. The word harlot is the right word to choose, b/c we choose other lovers before God (even I do), We all do! But God still loves us enough. He loves me! He loves you! God has chosen a bride, and He is jealous over her. He wants His bride all to himself, but the problem is: Will His bride choose Him?? Will you! Me: Most definitely! I want to be in the mast amazing wedding of my life and be a part of something greater than this world.

In the song she talks about a bride who has been blamed as the Harlot by the accusers and the accuser of the brethren (satan), and yes, they are right. But, God intervenes on her behalf and takes of the cup of her blood. It’s so unimaginable that someone would take on all the sins of the world… or is it? But do we choose Him? Everyday I wake up and I ask God to help me, whether it’s to Love Him more, Love people more, or even to Love myself more. God is waiting for the Wedding day! Waiting for the day that we will choose to Love and Honor Him in all His glory!

“oh, the blood, oh the blood… ” as Misty sings. The realization of what it took Jesus to do as He was beaten and held accountable. “He drank of the cup with my name on it” as she sings in utter shame… I mean, as I think of the sins that I have committed- I just awe! The dirtiness of guilt and shame just run through my brain. He didn’t do that! Jesus didn’t! I did! But He took the blame so that I could be with Him forever and ever, always in Eternity.

“For Worthy is the Lamb! Worthy is the Lamb of God…” We all get to sing! For He is worthy! He is definitely Worthy! He Loves me. He Loves me! Oh, How He loves me! Even in the midst of my sin and shame… He calls me “Beauty… Beauty Arise.” No one will really know the depth of this Love until they experience it for themselves… I have, and I long to go deeper in that Love! Everyday the deeper I go, the more shallow it becomes, I have to keep digging and digging to where my relationship with God can grow… God created us for His purpose. He wrote our Love story… He wrote the novel to my life: and that’s to be in Love with Him and growing in His vastness of His Beauty.

Who knows when that day will come, The Marriage of the Lamb? I just want to be ready! With my lampstand (life) full of oil (Jesus). I want to know that everyday when the accuser accuses me that I chose (or will choose) Jesus… and I will forever and ever. It doesn’t matter how many times I fall, God will always pick me back up and say… I Love you! And am I satisfied with His Love?? YES! I am!