I was watching this video yesterday! And I just had the urgency in my heart to be at this meeting on April 6th!! It’s gonna be aweosme! 39 Women walking the “trail of tears” considering abortion of 52 million babies!! The ground, the bloodshed of those innocent little ones is crying out! We have to end abortion!

Esther was a bold Woman! She really was. She was born for “such a time as this.” And I believe that for my own life. I was born for such a time as this. I was born to be a mighty woman of God! I was! Somehow I long to be a part of that 39 women walking for days b/c of this terrible massacre. I want to be one that carries the burden of the unborn and the slavery of women, (God will help me!), but I want to be one that will help in the ending of abortion and the ending of Human Traffiking! So many people don’t know the urgency of the Father. They just pretend everything is ok and everything is fine. WE NEED A WAKE UP CALL!! We need to be called to our rightful inheritance in the Lord! And this event will help (I know) to WAKE UP  this NATION.

I was reading Esther 4:13-16

And Mordecai told them to answer Esther: “Do not thinkg in your heart that you will escape in the king’s palace anymore that all the other Jews. For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise or the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the Kingdom for such a time as this?”

Then Esther told them to reply to Mordecai: “Go, gather all the Jews who are present in Shushan, and fast for me; neither eat nor drink for 3 days, night or day. My maids and I will fast likewise. And so I will go to the king, which is against the law; and if I perish, I perish. 

Wow! Such a noble woman Esther was. She knew what she had to do in order for her to save her people! And if she persihed for it, so be it. She knew that her time had come to be the Woman of God that he created her to be! And I want that for my life. More than anything. I want God to use me. I want to be led by the Holy Spirit to change a generation! I want to make a difference in this World! And I believe that if God sees that in my heart, and that His heart is the same for me (Which I know it is); then He will give me the means of what I need to be who I am! In Matthew 6:25-34… God knows how to provide for His people.

Everyday is a process. It takes a little bit at a time to become a lot at a time. God sees the hearts of His people. And He will raise up those who are willing and who are obedient to do His will. And I want to be one of those people. My husband and children too!

For Such a Time as This!



That he would grant you according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the innerman, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in LOVE, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height- to know the LOVE of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. -Eph 3:16-19 NKJV

This is the Apostolic prayer for my life! I want to know the LOVE of Christ… every part of it… whereever it goes!

It’s funny, I’ve been listening to this song by Misty Edwards… called Like a Caged Bird.

I can hear the LOVE for God in this song, and in her Voice! This song is about a journey into the heart of God… He carries me away! To a world unknown… It’s the Heart of God… God wants us to spend time with Him and even though I’m still learning this… I have every moment in my life that keeps me from God. And when I do spend time with Him, something distracts me. Oh, if we could just get past the mindset of this world. The mindset of the “American Dream.” I was praying last night that God would give me His dream for my Life! B/c I know that His Dream is sooo much better than mine!


Sermon on the Mount

Lou Engle.

click in link above to view…

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the Sermon on the Mount… Matthew 5,6, and 7. For the past few years I’ve been learning about this sermon and so many people have been talking about it. But the other day it was like I was awakened to it again for the very first time! The funny thing about it was… I was trying to find a sermon by Lou Engle from the Onething11 conference, thought I found it, and actually watched the Fascinate 2011 conference archive instead! But God knew what He was doing! And Lou Engle was talking about the Sermon on the Mount! 🙂

Matthew 5: 3-12 are some of the main points to Christianity… For Lou said “The Sermon on the Mount is the Constitution of the Kingdom of God. God doesn’t adjust to culture – culture adjusts to God.”

vs. 3-12 Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, For they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, For they shall be filled. Blessed are the merciful, For they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, For they shall see God. Blessed are the peacekeepers, For they shall be called the Sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, For theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven. Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake, Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven…

Wow… what a great Constitution to live by. I totally understand the poor in spirit thing, the meek, the hunger and thirst for righteousness… I mean, I can do all that. I can fast and pray. I can be humble. But when it comes to keeping the peace, let’s just say God is working on that in me! A lot! 🙂 It’s so hard to think about people persecuting you and saying things about you and not wanting to get back at ’em or just make it worse. But it’s like God is saying, “Hey, let them persecute you, for they are helping you get higher up in the Kingdom. They are helping you, not harming you.” We see it as harmful to us, but God sees it in such a glorious way. B/c He knows that you are doing it right and according to His purpose, and on the truthful and gracious side… God’s opinion is the only one that counts! (And that’s for any situation!)

So now I’m awakened to this… And yes, I can have my downfalls from time to time; but I want every time for God to say… ‘nope, don’t worry about it, this is my fight, not yours’. And it is. It really is. So I’m praying that I can live out this lifestyle of Sermon on the Mount. Hopefully it doesn’t take years for me to get it down, but hopefully I can get to Heaven and say, Yes, Lord I lived according to your purpose. I learned to Love! And yes, above all else, I chose You Lord! and only You! 🙂 -For like in this sermon Lou also talks about bowing down to the things of this age, and not to God… I want God! Because… all of this stuff in this world will pass away…



I’ve been listening to this song ever since I’ve gotten it! It’s amazing! It’s the story of our lives here on Earth and that cost that our lives had for Jesus to take away the sins of the world. The word harlot is the right word to choose, b/c we choose other lovers before God (even I do), We all do! But God still loves us enough. He loves me! He loves you! God has chosen a bride, and He is jealous over her. He wants His bride all to himself, but the problem is: Will His bride choose Him?? Will you! Me: Most definitely! I want to be in the mast amazing wedding of my life and be a part of something greater than this world.

In the song she talks about a bride who has been blamed as the Harlot by the accusers and the accuser of the brethren (satan), and yes, they are right. But, God intervenes on her behalf and takes of the cup of her blood. It’s so unimaginable that someone would take on all the sins of the world… or is it? But do we choose Him? Everyday I wake up and I ask God to help me, whether it’s to Love Him more, Love people more, or even to Love myself more. God is waiting for the Wedding day! Waiting for the day that we will choose to Love and Honor Him in all His glory!

“oh, the blood, oh the blood… ” as Misty sings. The realization of what it took Jesus to do as He was beaten and held accountable. “He drank of the cup with my name on it” as she sings in utter shame… I mean, as I think of the sins that I have committed- I just awe! The dirtiness of guilt and shame just run through my brain. He didn’t do that! Jesus didn’t! I did! But He took the blame so that I could be with Him forever and ever, always in Eternity.

“For Worthy is the Lamb! Worthy is the Lamb of God…” We all get to sing! For He is worthy! He is definitely Worthy! He Loves me. He Loves me! Oh, How He loves me! Even in the midst of my sin and shame… He calls me “Beauty… Beauty Arise.” No one will really know the depth of this Love until they experience it for themselves… I have, and I long to go deeper in that Love! Everyday the deeper I go, the more shallow it becomes, I have to keep digging and digging to where my relationship with God can grow… God created us for His purpose. He wrote our Love story… He wrote the novel to my life: and that’s to be in Love with Him and growing in His vastness of His Beauty.

Who knows when that day will come, The Marriage of the Lamb? I just want to be ready! With my lampstand (life) full of oil (Jesus). I want to know that everyday when the accuser accuses me that I chose (or will choose) Jesus… and I will forever and ever. It doesn’t matter how many times I fall, God will always pick me back up and say… I Love you! And am I satisfied with His Love?? YES! I am!



It is about time we lift up the Son of Man, the Savior of both Men and Women. When we see Jesus as the Son of Man, we will find that in Him, men and women are reconciled; we will take our position in Christ, and we will begin to minister harmoniously side by side, like Adam and Eve in the Garden. -Ed Silivoso- Women: God’s Secret Weapon pg 148 par 3

Ministering with Jesus, side by side, my husband and I! Awe! the day! I can’t wait. I mean we do minister now, but at the same time, God has so much planned for our life together! My heart has always been about unity. And yes, my heart has been hardened some by this world and I’ve completely went the opposite way, but still deep inside I yearn for unity among my life and among the brethren! God has a purpose for His people to be unified, in Him as He is unified in His Son… who is also the Son of Man! God has made a way, and that’s only through Jesus!

Ephesians is my favorite book of the Bible! And Ephesians 4 is all about untiy! For there is ONE GOD, ONE FAITH, ONE BAPTISM… and I want that to be the center focus in the Church! B/c when it comes to different denominations and their tactics of “Christianinty,” we all suffer. You’re either for God or against Him, and that’s all that matters! For me, I want to be For God and not against Him! I don’t want to be offended with Him! I want to be in Unity with Him and walk where He wants me to go, Talk about what He wants to talk about, Breathe the same air that He’s Breathing! All of it! Untiy with Jesus is the only true Unity that is worth living for! Worth dying for! (I’m still learning this day by day.)

The devil- He knows that if all men and women stand together in ministry, “God will shatter the head of His enemies… [and their] foot [will] shatter them in blood. -Psalm 68:21-23. -Ed Silivoso-Women: God’s Secret Weapon pg 151 par 2

This takes us back to the passage of Psalm 68 from the beginning… where the women are at home partnering with men out on the battlefields using prayer. Psalm, 68:11…

Women’s positioning is not intended to demean them but is part of God’s strategy. God allows women to be camouflaged as flocks of silvery doves resting on stained sheepfolds, hiding in lowly places while He waits for His enemies to exalt themselves. However, when He finally deploys women, everyone will see the gold-until then hidden- glistening in the pinions and will come to appreciate their value. No one will see it more clearly than the men standing next to them in ministry. In that hour, women’s finest, everyone will see that they are indeed twice refined! -Ed Silivoso- Women: God’s Secret Weapon pg 151 par 4

So when it all comes down to it… Unity with Jesus, will bring Unity b/w man and woman, and all will see that women are important, they are called by God! And they are very important to what the Lord has planned for His Bride. When Men and women are in Unity with Jesus, nothing can stand in their way….

Thanks for being on this Journey with me as I ventured along with Ed Silivoso and his book Women:God’s Secret Weapon! Read it for yourself! There’s a lot more to it… I just highlighted things that I focused on!



You will not be able to forgive others until you alllow the grace of God to flow all the way back and touch every evil thing done by you and to you. You must exchange the old things for new things. -Ed Silivoso- Women: God’s Secret Weapon pg 143 par. 1

I’m almost to the end of this book and didn’t realize how much unforgiveness a person could have in their heart towards someone! I have been recently trying to apply grace to my life and to forgive all of those who have done things to me. Everyday is a struggle, b/c I still have people coming against me and saying things; but I just have to put those things aside, seclude myself from them, and pray for them! It’s hard, yes I know, but in the end, when I learn to love them all over again, it will be worth it! 🙂 I hope! 🙂

Whereever you are reading these words, I urge you to choose to apply grace to every person that has hurt you right now. Take every sin committed against you by members of the opposite sex, by leaders, by peers, and by relatiives, put them in a pole and cover them with grace that God has already given you, which is part of the grace that first saved you.  -Ed Silivoso- Women: God’s Secret Weapon pg 143 par 4

I don’t know if I remember every offense that someone has against me, or even know of any. Or I don’t know of all the things I’m offended at people with; but I do know that if there has been anyone, God will show me in time, so that I can forgive them and walk into my destiny FREE of shame and condemnation! God is wanting all of His people to be doers of the WORD to forgive and forget as he does…

I was listening to Lou Engle today and he said to read Matthew 5,6,and 7… the Sermon on the Mount lifestyle… and become that lifestyle! God preached it as His constitution for His people to live by! 🙂 The Sermon on the Mount, Chapter 5:1-10 are the very Characterisitics of God! God wants the opposite of the world! His Kingdom is the inside upside down Kingdom, where you die to gain and lose to Win! (- Misty Edwards) …

So… YOU! learn to give grace and forgive! It’s the only way to true Freedom in Jesus!